


Pining

by Carol_Molliniere



Series: The Society of Weird Feelings [3]
Category: The Glass Scientists (Webcomic)
Genre: Long, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, that's all you need to know, yeah this fanfic is about being a mess for someone you love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-30 20:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12116616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carol_Molliniere/pseuds/Carol_Molliniere
Summary: Lavender knows the pain of pining; she and Flowers have that much in common when it comes to love.





	1. Longing Lavender

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone was wondering, this fanfic takes place after That One Betting Pool. Not to mention it may not have the happiest of endings. But Lavender and Flowers will get their day.
> 
> If what you're looking for is an angst ride, then enjoy! And if not, well...it's your choice whether you wanna keep reading or not.

“Are you sure you're alright, Sophia?”

“Yes, Lily, I'm fine.”

Lily Lavender wasn't so sure. Her friend, Sophia Flowers, had just heard straight from the person she loved that he was in love with someone else. And it wasn't the gentlest of rejections, too.

Sure, Archer was entitled to be a little rude to the other Lodgers after the betting pool stunt – it was only fair. And Lavender was sure Archer hadn't meant to hurt Flowers in any way. But telling Flowers in private instead of fucking the object of his own affections, Griffin, right where everyone could hear them would have been a much better choice for a rejection. Well, maybe he could have told Flowers first and then fucked Griffin. Again, it was fair after everyone had placed him in such a position.

But Flowers insisted that she was fine. And she was smiling, so no harm done, right?

Lavender could only hold Flowers's hand as she led her back to her room. The other Lodgers around them were talking about what Archer and Griffin had done – someone was wondering if Jekyll would be alright with two Lodgers together. The concept had been waved over everyone's heads for some time, but it hadn't really turned into a reality until then.

Two Lodgers...together.

The thought was nice to Lavender's ears, though. Before she had become good friends with Flowers, she would have simply cut her teeth on it as some more gossip material. But lately, she had managed to treat something like that with more care. Well, except for Jekyll and Hyde's escapades – God knows what they were up to in that office alone at night.

She looked up at Flowers again, and remembered why she had chosen to treat such a topic with more care than before.

She had fallen in love herself.

 

* * *

 

Flowers was just a new Lodger, back then. She was still staring around at the various sights and displays – she looked as if she would pinch herself just to see if she was dreaming. Jekyll thought a Lodger this enthusiastic about the Society was a good sign, and treated her extra nicely.

Lavender had been herself around Flowers, on the other hand. She had simply shown Flowers her various researches on the different monsters that inhabited many mythologies and the Bible. Showing Flowers an artist's rendition of Cerberus devouring the legendary traitors wasn't exactly the best thing to do in Jekyll's book, but to Lavender it had been clean fun. And apparently, Flowers had been fascinated by it.

She had been glad for that – she was getting tired of being outnumbered by the men alongside Cantilupe and Ito. To get a new lady Lodger and have her like her? That was indeed a good sign. Lavender was then determined to impress Flowers.

Lavender remembered what wonder Flowers had on her face every time Lavender showed her something new. Of course, sometimes the other Lodgers had stolen her thunder – at that point she had to admit she didn't know _everything_ that was going on in the Society – but Flowers loved it. She loved everything.

Oh, Flowers.

 

* * *

 

“Here we are,” Lavender said as they reached Flowers's private room. “Do you need breakfast taken up to you?”

“Lavender, I'm serious, I don't need to be doted on,” Flowers said. “I'm just fine.”

“Are you sure?” Lavender said. “I know you like Archer. Practically everyone does now.”

Flowers forced a laugh. “It's fine. I can accept that he doesn't like me. It's not the end of the world, of course. If it was, then we'd see that ruining England.” She pointed at the leviathan skeleton hanging from the ceiling of the Society, and Lavender snorted.

“Sure, sure,” Lavender said. Then she reached out and gave Flowers's shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Just tell me if you need me, alright? I'm here for you.”

“Of course,” Flowers said. She then opened her door, and waved goodbye to Lavender, before she went inside and closed the door.

Lavender lingered at the door for some time, before she was certain that she wasn't hearing anyone crying. So she went on her way.

Then she went back again, but still no one was crying.

 

* * *

 

Lavender had grown to love Flowers in a month since they first met.

They had become thick as thieves, supporting each other's work as they progressed and developed new creations (in the case of Flowers) and found new creatures (in the case of Lavender). And Flowers always had something nice to say about Lavender's work even when Lavender didn't herself. But that wasn't the only thing Lavender had noticed about Flowers.

Flowers was always nice to everyone, as best as she could. She always saw the beauty in whatever anyone had managed to make, from Pennebrygg's eerily lifelike automatons to Helsby's “assistant”. And Flowers was kind – she had searched high and low around the Society once for a paper containing a secret recipe of Doddle's. She didn't even read the recipe herself either when she found it – what a lady.

But Lavender had still been surprised when she fell for Flowers.

It was for more than being kind that Flowers had become the object of her affections. Flowers used to do a few little things for Lavender, like manage to sneak her one of Doddle's tarts or Rachel's special biscuits, or write down little notes for her when she fell asleep at the table in her and Cantilupe's lab. And soon Lavender began looking forward to seeing Flowers all the time.

Cantilupe often said that it was good that Lavender had such a good friend to depend on. And she agreed with her senior – it wasn't everyday that who was possibly the nicest person she would ever meet got to be one of her friends.

And soon, they became close friends.

Whatever happened to make Lavender realize she liked Flowers differently from a friend, though, she wasn't sure. Maybe it was when she noticed she thought Flowers was beautiful. Maybe it was when she began getting restless when Flowers didn't see her after a long time. Or maybe it was when she had a dream about Flowers kissing her in places that shouldn't be mentioned. Actually, it was probably all three.

All that Lavender knew was that she liked Flowers.

 

* * *

 

Lavender didn't hear anyone cry for the days that passed after the betting pool was resolved. She heard some people be relieved (“I always knew Archer would never go after me,” said Sinnett), and some be disappointed (“So it was Griffin? How was I not around to see that?!” grumbled Hyde), and others still a bit confused (“Archer likes _him_? That can't be right,” said Ito). But no crying, and definitely not from Flowers.

Maybe Lavender had been wrong to worry. Maybe Flowers really was handling her unrequited feelings better than she thought.

She still worried, though.

“Are you alright, Lavender?” Maijabi had asked her one day.

Lavender looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“I noticed you've been walking past Miss Flowers's room almost three times now for the past few hours,” Maijabi told her. “And that's not counting the times you've been walking past her room the past days. Is something the matter?”

Lavender sighed. “I'm worried about Flowers. Something's not right. I mean, she goes around the Society and talks to me as if nothing happened, but...I'm feeling there's something wrong and she isn't telling me what it is.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked, as they began to walk away from Flowers's room.

“Well, you know how Flowers mentioned she liked Archer the other day?”

A chuckle. “The day when Archer soundly shut down the betting pool about him? How could I forget?”

Lavender laughed a little as well, but then her smile faded again. “Yes, well, I don't know if Flowers is heartbroken or not. She could very well be hiding it – I know people who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and don't tell a single soul about it.”

Maijabi looked up. “Well, that's what it means to carry a burden: you don't want anyone to suffer on your behalf.”

“What if I want to share her pain?” Lavender asked. “I don't want her to carry it alone – in fact, I'd take it from her if I could.”

“Are you sure about that?” Maijabi asked. “Are you sure you want to bear the pain of someone who has suffered heartbreak?”

Lavender had a reply on her tongue, but she didn't want to say it.

Maijabi noticed her lack of a spoken response, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Flowers will be alright. She'll tell you when she needs help – don't you worry about it. It's better to help when she tells you to than for you to give her unsolicited help.”

“I do know that,” Lavender said, trying to smile. “But thanks for reminding me.”

Maijabi smiled, his eyes crinkling. “And don't obsess over it. That's the worst thing you can do. Remember you aren't the one who's going through the problem she is.”

He patted her shoulder one last time, and then waved, saying something about checking on the ghosts in the mirrors, before walking away.

Lavender then let out the reply she had been holding inside, when she was sure no one could hear.

“I know the pain of pining,” she said, for herself more than anything. “I know it well.”

 

* * *

 

It wasn't just the men who went out on the town – Lavender and Flowers liked to go out as well, sometimes with the men, sometimes with the other women, but this time they were on their own. It was very rare that the Lodgers went out in the daytime, but Flowers had wanted to see a play that was only going on in the afternoon and Cantilupe convinced Lavender she could handle the work by herself that day.

“Go on,” Cantilupe had said. “It's not every day you get to have the day with a person you consider such a good friend.”

Lavender had nodded and thanked Cantilupe. She hadn't known how to tell her back then that Flowers was different from a good friend in her heart.

She and Flowers went to see the play – it was a scientific romance, and the two ladies had a lovely time laughing at all the scientific inaccuracies and the numerous love interests thrown the protagonist's way. Lavender didn't remember the name of the play, but she did remember how Flowers seemed to glow in the light of the stage.

When they had come out, it was late in the afternoon, but Flowers had wanted to linger out in the city for a bit longer, and Lavender was never one to say no to Flowers. They talked a little longer about various things in the Society, about recent things then like how Helsby had fallen into the tank of his assistant and how they had caught Griffin actually smiling as he was walking down the hall.

It seemed like Flowers was stalling for something, though. She was beating around the bush for something she really wanted to say, and Lavender noticed. She was tempted to urge Flowers to say it, but Flowers was a master at changing the subject of a conversation.

They walked on until they were a ways from the Society, and Flowers had grown silent. Lavender tried to fill the silence with stories about her life before the Society, but eventually there were things she wasn't comfortable disclosing and soon they fell quiet.

So it was for about ten minutes before Flower sucked in a breath, and stopped.

“Lily, I have to tell you something,” she said.

“Oh?” Lavender asked, stopping as well. She looked to Flowers, and her heart jumped for some reason – come on, there's no way Flowers would say something about her. So she stood there as Flowers clasped her hands together.

“You have to promise me not to tell anyone, Lily,” she said. “Promise me.”

“I-I promise,” Lavender said, taken aback by Flowers's intensity. “You can tell me anything.”

Flowers bowed her head, pursing her lips, before looking up at Lavender only with her eyes. “I'm in love.”

Lavender's heart beat faster.

“Y-You're in love.”

“Yes,” Flowers said. “I have been for quite some time now.”

“Yes – yes,” Lavender stuttered, pushing her glasses back up her nose. “Do tell me.”

She knew it was unwise to get her hopes up – foolish, even – but a part of her had hoped it was her. So she shut that part of her back up in a box and carried on listening.

“I've been having feelings of love, and I think you ought to know about it,” Flowers went on. “I'm in love...”

Lavender blinked.

“...With Archer.”

“...What?”

 

* * *

 

Flowers was working on her insects. That was normal. She was eating and sleeping well. That was normal. And no matter how many times Lavender checked her, Flowers didn't show any signs of having cried. That was normal, too.

But Flowers wasn't talking a lot anymore – that wasn't normal.

And the worst part was that Lavender couldn't pinpoint what the reason was. Okay, she knew it was due to what happened with Archer, but Flowers knew she could talk to her about anything, right? Or even talk about it with someone else, someone who had experience with being rejected? She just wanted Flowers to be alright.

She watched the steam rise from the cup of her tea, sighing to herself. She rested her head in her hands – she didn't feel like working on the papers before her. She felt as if Flowers's pain was eating away at her, even if Flowers didn't disclose it to her. She didn't know what to do. She would rather try to figure it out, the wait for Flowers to answer her be damned.

Lavender must have been staring into space for too long, because she literally did not notice someone else walk into the biology lab until that someone spoke.

“You know, if you're going to use the biology lab, you're not supposed to have tea with you.”

She almost jumped, and then looked up to see Griffin standing there. He was setting a large cage down on the table, which had a few squeaks coming from it. “Also, you had better start reading – the big damn Exhibition's coming up, and you'll be needing everything you got.”

“...Griffin,” she said, sort of dumbly.

“That's my name.” He raised an eyebrow, laying out his notebook in front of her.

Of all people, it had to be Griffin who showed up in front of her. It had to be Griffin, the person who Archer liked. And it had to be one of her friends besides Flowers. (Was Griffin her friend? She wasn't really sure – there didn't seem to be a word for what they were together.)

One small part of her wanted to be a little pissed at him, but she knew that was a petty and unreasonable thing to do. It wasn't his fault Flowers was sad. In fact, he and Flowers seemed to be on reasonably good terms – not to mention he and Archer seemed to really be in love with each other. Griffin was definitely acting like less of the jerk she knew before over the past few days.

She sighed, and straightened up in her seat.

“Can I talk to you about something?” Lavender asked.

Griffin exhaled audibly. “If this is something about Archer and I, then just drop it. That's all anyone's been asking us about nowadays.”

“No...it's about a personal problem of mine.”

He paused, and looked at her. “...Don't you normally go to Flowers or Cantilupe for that?”

“Yes, but,” Lavender looked away, running a hand through her hair, “you might be the only person in this building who surely understands.”

“Me?” Now Griffin sounded intrigued. “Not one of your women problems, then.”

She tried to laugh. “Come on,” she said. “This is serious.”

“If it is serious, then prove it,” Griffin said, this time fully looking at her. “What are we dealing with?”

Lavender inhaled.

“I'm in love,” she began. “I have been for some time now and–”

She was stopped by a hand in front of her. Griffin put it down, and then frowned. “You're in love?” he asked. “You know this building isn't the best place to keep a secret like that.”

“You and I both kept it cleanly under wraps these past few months, let's be honest,” Lavender said. “If there's one thing this place has taught me in the ways of gossip, it's that one should know when to keep their mouth shut.” She then glanced sideways. “As with the doors.”

Griffin looked up. “The door's closed,” he said.

“I know, I was just making a point,” she replied. “Can I continue?”

“Fine.”

She looked down again. “As I was saying, I'm in love. And I have been for some time – months now. But I have an issue with it: I'm totally sure the person I've fallen for doesn't like me back at all.”

Griffin crossed his arms. “You haven't told me who the bloke is, how can you know if he doesn't like you?”

“It's isn't a he, Jack.”

“...Oh.” His eyes widened. “Oh – oh, hell.”

Lavender smiled softly. “Do you understand now?”

“Ah – mm.” Griffin cleared his throat. “Are you sure I'm the right person to trust with this information? I didn't trust you with my own secret – though to be honest, I did have a good reason.”

“Yes, you did,” Lavender said, looking a bit annoyed. “But that's not important. You trusted me in the past, and now I trust you. Can you keep this a secret?”

Griffin thought about it for a while, before he shrugged. “Just remember, I'm a gossip too like the rest of them.”

“I am too,” Lavender said. “And if you spread that word, I'm going to tell everyone about us spending nights together in my lab. Out of context.”

“Feisty, aren't we?” Griffin didn't even try not to smirk. “I know you won't really tell them that, though; not because we were together, but because we both said personal things.”

“It was mostly you,” Lavender reminded him. “I want to trust you right now, and here we are just playing games.”

“Fine. Let's talk about you and Flowers.”

Lavender rested her head on her arms, folded on the table. “I'd always known that she liked Archer – I was one of the first to know, in fact. She used to tell me lots of things about him that she liked, and I was willing to listen. I told her I was happy for her. But...in spite of myself, I was sad. I was in love with her and I wanted a future with her in it. Even if she would marry someone else, I would force myself to be happy just to ensure she would be. But I was sad – because the thing about love is that you want the other person to be in love with you. You know what I'm saying, don't you?”

Griffin took a seat. “Well, most of it. But I don't know about the 'forcing myself to be happy so the other person would be' part."

“You would just mope and get even grumpier, I know it.”

“Moving on.”

“...I told myself it was hopeless, and the best thing that I could do was support her. I did notice myself wanting to have her, but I tried not to get myself into an irreversible mess. If she and Archer were to get married, I would have told myself to smile...” Lavender sunk her face further into her arms. “...But now her heart has been broken, and I feel as if one of the edges has torn mine apart too. I want to comfort her, to make sure she's happy. But at the same time, I don't want to become selfish and think of this as an opportunity to win her heart. You would do the same, wouldn't you?”

She looked up to see Griffin staring blankly into space, and she snapped a finger in front of him.

“Griffin!”

“Huh? What?” he asked, looking back at her.

“You're terrible, you know that?”

“I'm not trying to be!” Griffin leaned forward. “I get it. Now that Flowers knows her love is just as hopeless as yours, you want to ease her pain, but you don't want to force her to fall in love with you. Am I correct?”

“That's not the most comforting of summaries,” she groaned.

“That's your honest situation, and you know it,” he replied.

“I...” Lavender didn't know what to say to that. “I just want her to be happy in the end. I don't want to force anything on her. I know she'll get through this – but I don't want her to suffer for so long. And if I let myself slip, I'll end up breaking her heart even more.”

She gave him a look of hopelessness. “You and Archer were lucky it worked out for the both of you. But Flowers should never know about my feelings for her; we would end up losing each other.”

“You don't know that for sure,” Griffin said.

“She likes men!” Lavender cried. “She won't ever like me – and think of what she'll say if she ever found out about my own feelings! It will ruin our friendship!”

Griffin crossed his arms, and looked away. “...Actually, I'm not the best person you should be looking to for advice,” he told her. “I'm crude, and what you call ill-tempered, and it took a stupid betting pool for me to even hint that I liked Archer.” He frowned. “I just don't think I want it to have to go that far for you.”

“I don't either,” Lavender said. “But I didn't need you to say anything. I just wanted you to listen.”

He sighed, long and hard, through his nose. They were silent for a while.

“...To answer your question earlier,” he said after a few moments, “if Archer were in love with someone and he got rejected, I would be a lot more selfish than you would be. I don't think I'd ever take advantage of him, but the thought would definitely cross my mind more times than it does yours. And I would go out of my way just to make sure I was the one who was helping him, so that he would at least think of me.”

A pause.

“We're two different people in love with two other different people,” Griffin went on. “Your situation and your attitude is unique from mine. I can't speak for all the people in the world who've longed after someone. But I can see you trust me because I've pined after someone, and you have too. So I guess that's why I'm listening right now.”

Lavender stared at him, before turning fully towards him.

“I take it back,” Lavender said. “You're not terrible.”

“And I'm not trying to be.” Griffin then dropped his arms from their crossed position. “Um...is this the kind of situation that calls for an embrace, or...?”

Lavender nodded. “Yes, yes of course,” she said, going out of her seat and flinging her arms around him.

Griffin stared down at her, before he put a hand down on her head.

“So...you like Flowers? That's why you didn't bet on her when you were placing your wagers on who Archer liked?” he asked.

“I panicked, alright?” she told him.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Lavender went to Flowers' room again, but found the door ajar. When she looked inside, there was no one there. She took her head out of the doorway, and then looked to another Lodger who had been passing by.

“Mosley!” she called. “Do you know where Flowers went?”

“Flowers?” Mosley asked, looking up from the notebook he was studying. “I think I saw her going down to Bird and Archer's lab. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Lavender said, even as she hurried down the hall, walking quicker than what was considered normal.

Flowers went to Bird and Archer's lab? What was she going to do? Was she going to see Archer, and break her heart even more? She did have insects ready to pollinate some of the plants – but she didn't have to do that if it meant having to face Archer. Why didn't Flowers tell her about these things?

No, no, it was just the plants that needed pollinating. And Archer might not even be in his lab – maybe it was only Bird that would be there, overseeing the whole thing. And Bird wouldn't remind her of such a delicate matter, right? Bird was a perceptive man. Lavender could only hope that Flowers wasn't going to push herself to do something she clearly wasn't ready to do yet.

Lavender finally made it to Bird and Archer's lab, and moved towards the slightly open door, when she stopped.

Oh, no.

She heard what she had been dreading – the sound of crying.

Lavender inched closer to the crack in the doorway, and saw what she feared – there was Flowers, sobbing with her face in her hands, her breath choked and watery. In front of her was Archer, with his hands up as if wondering what he could do to comfort her.

_You should never have hurt Sophia this way, you bastard._

Lavender cringed at her thoughts. She didn't really think that way about Archer, did she? She knew logically that he never meant to hurt Flowers. He would never do something like that intentionally.

_Intentionally – he did it anyway, though._

What was wrong with Lavender's mind? Had seeing Flowers cry finally open up a pent-up flood of her own emotions? Did she have a right to be angry on Flowers's behalf?

What happened here that made Flowers finally break the facade and cry?

“I'm so sorry, Archer – I'm sorry,” Flowers was saying. “I don't know if I can put up this bloody act anymore.”

“Act?” Archer asked. “Flowers, you know you don't have to put up an act for anyone – please tell me what's wrong.”

Flowers tried in vain to wipe some of her tears away before continuing, “I know – but I saw you were so happy with Griffin, and I knew I had to support you...” She sniffled. “I have to support you in your happiness because I'm still in love with you! I want nothing more than to see you smile – even if I have to cut my own heart to do it! I'll do anything for you...anything but show myself to you like this!”

Archer watched her, stunned. The look in his eyes was sad, no doubt.

“Flowers, you don't have to cut yourself open for me,” he said. “I've been happy these past few days, but if you're feeling this way, then let me be sad for you – tell me about these things! You're a good friend of mine – I can't stand to see you bottle up your feelings like this.”

“That's all I am to you,” Flowers said, wiping her nose on her sleeve this time. “I'm only a good friend; I should have expected you would see me as nothing more than that. Lord, I'm such a fool – a hopeless, hopeless fool!”

This time Archer knew what to do. He came forward and held her head against his chest, letting her cry on him.

“I'm so sorry,” Archer said. “I'm sorry I don't like you that way.”

“Don't apologize, please,” Flowers replied, even as she was struggling to form coherent words. “Don't.”

Lavender had seen enough. She turned away from the door, and covered her mouth.

Then she looked up, and saw three of the other Lodgers at her side by the door.

“...Is Flowers alright?” Cantilupe asked.

“What's going on in there?” Mosley went on.

“Did Archer do something?' Pennebrygg came forward.

Lavender balled her hands into fists. “Please, just – leave Flowers alone,” she urged. “Don't ask them any questions.”

There was a long silence, broken only by the soft sobs coming from the lab beside them.

“Alright, dear,” Cantilupe said. “We know you're only looking out for your friend.”

She put a hand on Lavender's shoulder, and Lavender could only nod.

“Thank you."

 

* * *

 

Flowers did seem less sad when she resumed work the next day. She had answered the door when Lavender knocked and showed a tiny smile instead of a wide, forced one. That was a good sign.

“Lavender, how are you?” Flowers asked, opening the door a bit wider. “I'm sorry we haven't been talking the past few days–”

“I know,” Lavender said, coming in. “I thought you needed some space.”

“Exactly.” Flowers put her hands together. “I'm glad you understood.”

Lavender looked around the room. There were plans for many clockwork insects stacked neatly on the table, as well as a half-finished cup of tea. Flowers's tools were also there, and her bed was made. She had to smile a little – her friend had the habit of being neat.

“You know, Lily,” Flowers began, causing Lavender to turn towards her. “Archer and I had a talk yesterday.”

“Archer?” Lavender tried to feign ignorance. “Flowers, I'm not sure it's a good idea to talk to him after what happened.”

“It's fine – we managed to sort things out between ourselves,” Flowers responded. “Archer told me that he actually wanted to tell me about him and Griffin before they...you know, but he was afraid that someone might overhear.”

“Ah, yes, the thin walls of this building,” Lavender said, putting her hands behind her back. “Well, I can say that was reasonable of him. He didn't want anyone to know about his little stunt, or something.”

Flowers motioned to a chair. “Do you want to sit?”

“No, I'm fine,” Lavender shook her head. She took a step, moving closer to the table. Her eyes fell on detailed drawings – mostly of insects, but she spotted a few renditions of the fearsome creatures that she had told Flowers about. She had always known Flowers could draw, but she didn't know about those drawings.

“Oh, do you like them?” Flowers asked. “Those were from a month back – I didn't know if it would be appropriate to give them to you, since I might have been inaccurate in some aspects about your creatures.”

“Flowers, this is wonderful,” Lavender said, picking up some more of the drawings. “I could use some of these for the Exhibition! You know, it's always hard describing something to someone without images – is it alright with you if I use them?”

“O-of course, if that's what you think of them!” Flowers said, coming towards the table. “There's one more that I want to show you, then – wait...”

She took up the stack of drawings, and leafed through it before pulling out one to show to Lavender. She then tried to look nonchalant, as Lavender looked it over, and gaped.

“Actually, I could modify it if you want,” Flowers said, gesturing to the drawing. “I know it might have been a bad idea to try and draw you from memory, but I didn't know how to go about asking you to model for me.”

Looking at the drawing of herself, Lavender's face grew hot. Did Flowers really make a sketch of her? Was this a dream? It felt like something out of a romantic novel – she was probably dreaming. She wanted to pinch herself to make sure. But she had to say something first!

“...This is like staring into a mirror,” she said. “Or having a photograph taken of me – I-I mean, it's – can I keep it?”

“Sure, anything for you,” Flowers said. She seemed pleased that Lavender had asked that. Lavender, on the other hand, tried to keep her cool, before she cleared her throat.

“Ahem, um, Sophia...” she began. “I just wanted to check if you were fine after all that happened these past few days.”

“Me? Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about me.”

“Yes, I know, but...” Lavender put a hand to her chin. Should she really say this?

Looking down at the sketches, she decided that she at least ought to try.

“...If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty more people who like you,” was all that she could say in the end. “Sophia, you are a good, kind-hearted woman, and I'm sure that one heartbreak won't stop you. Soon you'll meet someone you love who loves you back.”

There, she said something. Lavender wasn't sure if there was anyone else in the Society who liked Flowers for sure – she hadn't checked yet – but she knew that she was one of those potential people who wanted Flowers's heart. Now what would the object of her affections say?

“I don't know about all that,” Flowers said, looking away. “It's just...I've already suffered heartbreaks in the past. There's no way someone would like me – I don't think it's possible. This is just one of many – the pain will pass, I'm sure, but I don't think I'm cut out to love and be loved. Of course, I'll support everyone who falls in love, but I don't want to try anymore. It's...it's just too much.”

Lavender's eyes widened.

“...Oh.”

Flowers came closer to Lavender. “I think the closest I'll ever get to a bride's dress in the end is yours, actually,” she said. “I do hope you'll invite me to your wedding – it won't break my heart to see you walking down the aisle, I'll be honest. In fact, I would love to see you get married to someone you love.”

Lavender gripped the sketches in her hands tighter. At the same time, something curled its icy fingers around her heart.

“Oh. I-I see.” Lavender said. “Don't worry, I'll invite you – I mean, when the time comes. If the time comes.”

“It will, don't worry,” Flowers said. “I may have lost faith myself, but there's still hope for you! You're a strong, capable woman and I think many men will fall in love with you eventually.”

“Is that so?” Lavender asked. She heaved a breath. “Ahem, I – I think I have to go feed some of our creatures now. They eat at odd times, you know how it is.”

“Really? Alright then,” Flowers said. “I'm always here, if you want to talk.”

“Yes. Me too.” Lavender opened the door, and then headed out it.

When the door closed behind her, Lavender didn't walk quickly – she ran.

She ran all the way to her private room, and threw open the door before shutting herself inside.

What was wrong with her? It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for Flowers to wish her happiness in love. Friends did that, didn't they?

Friends.

That was all they would ever be.

And there was no happiness in love for her without Flowers.

Flowers couldn't just give up on love. There was so much more in store for her – there was someone who loved her!

And yet...Lavender didn't want to be selfish. That was Flowers's decision, not hers, and it was her job to support her friend in her happiness because...because...

“ _I have to support you in your happiness because I'm still in love with you!”_

That was the answer, plain and simple. Lavender was in love with Flowers and she wanted Flowers to choose her own path to happiness.

“ _I want nothing more than to see you smile – even if I have to cut my own heart to do it!”_

Flowers's words from the other day rang true in her mind – she knew the pain of pining, as well as Flowers did, and it broke her heart even more because now Flowers was just as unattainable as Archer. She had to respect that, she had to bear the weight on her shoulders alone, because she was so hopelessly in love and she didn't want Flowers to see her suffer.

She placed the sketches on her desk, alongside the haphazardly placed notes on the various creatures she and Cantilupe had studied. If she had bothered to look underneath, if the action wouldn't hurt her so, then she would take away all the notes and find various love letters addressed to the woman who had struck her fancy, who she was suffering for. Lavender put a hand on the sketches for a moment, staring at the drawing of her that was placed on top of it.

It was staring at her – the smile Flowers had drawn was mocking her.

Lavender exhaled heavily, and sat down at the table, knots twisting in her stomach. She folded her arms on the table, and buried her face in them, willing herself to sleep, so that she would forget Flowers's words about unrequited love, about giving up, about Lavender in a wedding dress.

She cried instead.

 


	2. Fair Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowers thinks she's figured out Lavender's secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next chapter is still as long as heck, but I hope this is the happiest ending that could happen in this situation.
> 
> A lot of this is actually based on my own experience - it gets confusing just how much of myself I put in here.

Flowers always suspected that Lavender liked someone.

Over the course of the months that Flowers knew her friend, she had noticed that Lavender was a huge gossip. She had no reason to hide it – practically everyone at the Society for Arcane Sciences loved to spread rumors. Even Flowers herself spread gossip, when she got into it. But Lavender was a much bigger propagator of rumors – she was always eager to sink her teeth into the juicy details of Hyde's nightly adventures or Luckett's sexual escapades.

There was one thing she was always reluctant to gossip about, though, and that was herself.

That probably meant that she had a secret she was keeping.

What kind of secret would Lavender be keeping, though, that she desperately didn't want to pass through the thin walls of the Society? Of course it had nothing to do with her career – it was pretty obvious that Lavender loved the science she had chosen for herself even if she could get her face potentially bitten off by the creatures that she studied. And Lavender made friends pretty easily – there wasn't any way she was having issues with friends. If she did, she would have told Flowers. (She hoped, anyway.)

So it must be a big secret, one that would potentially humiliate her if it ever came out.

Lavender must probably be in love.

And not just in love with any other person, no; upon further reflecting Flowers realized it must be someone the Lodgers knew. It must be one of them.

Which of them was it, though?

And why wouldn't Lavender tell her? They were friends, weren't they? Flowers had entrusted to Lavender the secret that she was in love with Archer – so why wouldn't her friend trust her with her own secret?

She had her suspicions, but no definite proof.

 

* * *

 

The Exhibition was drawing nearer and nearer. Flowers was feeling much better after talking with Archer, and was therefore able to devote a lot of her time to her work. She felt that things were finally beginning to look up for her, and everything was going to be alright.

Sure, she felt pangs every time she saw Archer. The ache grew bigger when she saw him with Griffin. But it was fine – even if she had no hope with him, the two of them were still good friends and Archer would never want to hurt her. He wanted her to be happy, and she couldn't believe it. She thought she had to sacrifice her own joy to make sure he was smiling.

A part of her joy had still been sucked away, however.

This was the last time out of many that her affections for someone had been rejected. The last time, she had been in a courtship before the man decided he couldn't keep up with her. Think of it – a woman with skin as dark as hers, with a scientific education as well; that was more of a threat than a blessing in this society. So the man decided he didn't want her.

As did some other men.

There was one other incident that came to mind, but she shoved that back into the corners of her mind. No use in thinking about that.

She had been so sure, though, that Archer would be different. He was a man of science himself, and he appreciated her work instead of looking down upon it. He thought her one of his friends. She thought that she had a chance with him.

But no, it was not to be.

Flowers guessed that it was better at this point to just give up on romance. She didn't want to get hurt anymore falling for people who didn't love her back. Who would love someone like her, anyway? If even Archer didn't, then who would?

...That was unreasonably selfish of her, though, she knew. What if there was someone who thought she was the most beautiful being in the world, whose face lit up when she talked and who dreamed of kissing her? She didn't want them to get their hopes up only to have them come crashing down.

But she couldn't think of anyone – and she was just being honest with herself. No one would get hurt too much in the end if she was honest.

She just wanted the pain to end soon.

She took a jar containing a firefly to the biology lab, and spent the whole day studying it so that she could make its clockwork replica. Every other hour someone would pass by and wave her hello, maybe even try to start a conversation with her. Flowers noticed their sympathetic looks – she wasn't ignorant, she knew they were looking out for her. She didn't know if they heard about her breakdown in front of Archer, but she thought it sweet of them nonetheless.

Flowers wondered where Lavender was, though.

The firefly beat against its prison, thumping against the glass in an effort to be set free. Flowers finished up the designs for her clockwork firefly, and then gathered up her things before moving out of the biology lab. She felt quite hungry – maybe Lavender wouldn't mind accompanying her for dinner, if she could find the other woman.

Flowers then walked down the hall, seeking to reach Lavender and Cantilupe's lab. Maybe Lavender was just busy working on something for the Exhibition. There was nothing to be worried about.

She was halfway there when she heard voices coming from the floor below her – and one of them belonged to the lady she was looking for.

 

* * *

 

Flowers used to talk to Lavender about Archer.

She would tell her every now and then about how wonderful he was, how he had complimented her work today, how he flattered her again. And Lavender would smile and nod, to indicate that she was listening.

But Lavender always seemed quite distant whenever she did – and Flowers perceived it well. So she tried to talk to her about it.

“Lavender,” she said after one such incident, “is something the matter?”

“What?” Lavender asked, as if she had been snapped out of a deep thought. “Oh, it's nothing, nothing.”

Flowers rested her chin in her hands. “You seem a little off, Lily. It always happens whenever I talk about Archer. Does it put you off? I can always stop talking about it.”

“Oh, no, please,” her friend replied. “I just don't know what to say to a person so in love with another.”

Flowers stared at her a little. Lavender's smile looked forced.

“Is that all there is to it?”

“Yes, of course,” Lavender said. And that was the last of it – well, if Flowers had let that be the last of it.

“Lily, tell me what's wrong,” Flowers urged.

“Nothing's wrong, Sophia,” Lavender told her. “I just don't think know what to say, honest. I've never been so intensely in love before – I don't know how to react.”

“Never been in love before?” Flowers asked. “Never felt attracted to anyone in your whole life?”

Lavender audibly gulped, her eyes darting from Flowers's face to random parts of the room. “No, never,” she said. “I mean; it's just that I don't feel comfortable talking about my loves – or lack of them – but why should I stop you from talking? It's good to be in love.” She grinned a little too widely, and then sighed. “So good.”

Flowers wanted to ask more, but her mind wasn't able to catch up when Lavender changed the subject back to Archer. The only thing she got from the conversation was that Lavender knew more than she let on – and she didn't seem to want to talk to her about it.

 

* * *

 

“Archer,” Lavender said, “what would you have done if Griffin had rejected you?”

Flowers carefully leaned over the railing, so as not to drop the things in her arms, and could see the tops of Archer and Lavender's heads. She blinked, watching for a little while. What did Lavender mean?

“Oh, um...” Archer seemed to be thinking of a reply. “I don't know what I'd do. Depends on what he does when he rejects me, I guess – I would have been fine had he put me down gently, but we all know Griffin's not one for gentle; he'd probably laugh at me. He'd make me feel stupid, and I would feel stupid.”

“Ah...” Lavender tried to say something.

“In fact, I think if Griffin rejected me, I'd probably feel like the biggest fool on the face of the planet,” Archer went on. “He'd make a big joke out of it, and I would feel terrible. Then it'd take me a long time before everything goes back to normal – even if everyone did everything in the world to make me feel better.”

Lavender seemed to hesitate before speaking, “I don't think he'd make a total fool out of you, even if he didn't like you – you and I both know he's nicer than he seems.”

“Yes, and I'm thankful for it,” Archer said. He tried to laugh. “At least, what I described was my fears. I'm not sure it's entirely accurate.”

“It probably isn't,” Lavender told him.

“Yes, but I would end up feeling like an idiot either way,” he finished. Then he looked at her. “But why're you asking me this?”

Lavender's head moved downwards. “...I don't know,” Lavender said. “Just trying to get something off my mind, actually.”

Archer was silent for a second.

“Did someone reject you?”

“What? No–”

“Who is it?” Archer pushed a fist into his open palm, speaking ominously. “Should I send them a message?”

“No, no, Archer!” Lavender waved her hands. “No one rejected me, I just–” she sighed, “–I really was just wondering about what I should do if that happened to me.”

“Well, first of all, chin up,” Archer said. “I don't think that'll ever happen to you. There are people who think you're a charming, intelligent lady.”

“...You sure?”

“Of course!” He crossed his arms, leaning on the railing beside them. “I don't see why anyone would want to hurt such a good-willed, witty person like you.”

Lavender laughed a little. “Save the flattery for your husband, Archer.”

Flowers was sure Archer was blushing, judging by the way his voice began to crack. “Griffin's not – I mean – it would be nice if we – but I don't know – who'd even marry us?”

Lavender stepped closer to him. “Don't worry about it, I was just joking,” she said. “But I guess it would be nice for you two: an official marker that you two are so happy together.” She sighed. “Would probably never happen in this time and place, though.”

“Well...” Archer sounded unsure on how to continue. “Back to your issue, Lavender – I don't think anyone would reject you. But if that ever happens, and you feel like you're foolish, just remember you're not, alright? I'm sure all the good things I said about you are true.” Then he pointed at himself. “And if that person seriously hurts you, then come to me. I'm sure I could make 'im come to an agreement.”

“That's very nice of you,” Lavender said. “You've made me feel better, at least a little.”

Archer uncrossed his arms. “So...you are sad.”

“It's nothing I can't get over,” she replied. “It's fine, really. Thank you for helping me a little.”

“Oh! No problem,” Archer said. “I'm always happy to talk with you about things like this, Lavender, don't you forget.”

“Yes.” Lavender nodded, and then went on her way.

Flowers looked back up, and frowned.

What could be making Lavender think of rejection? And why wasn't she looking to her for help? Lavender knew that she could talk to her about anything, right?

Then it hit her.

Of course!

 

* * *

 

About two months ago, Flowers had made the mistake of wondering aloud to one of the Lodgers who Lavender was interested in.

She had only meant to say it to Virginia. Virginia was a solid, dependable person who could be counted on to keep a secret under wraps. Well, as much as they were able – it was rare that something ever traveled through Virginia Ito's ears and went out their mouth as soon as they heard it. Not to mention they were smart and perceptive. That was why Virginia had been the first to know that Flowers had taken a liking to Archer. So Flowers found herself talking to Virginia about who Lavender could possibly have taken a fancy to.

“You don't have someone in mind for Lavender?” Virginia had asked, first.

“I don't, not really,” Flowers said. “I mean, she could fall in love with anyone here. That's why I'm having trouble figuring it out.”

“Well, you're correct there,” her companion said as they put away some bottles full of floating liquid. “Lavender has a knack for getting along with nearly everyone, both men and women.”

“I just thought – you might have an idea who it is.” Flowers straightened up in her seat. “You seem to know a lot of things about us that we're too afraid to say.”

“That's the role I've taken up, then.” Virginia smiled. “There are many people here who Lily would like. But I'd guess–”

They stopped, and then looked out the door. Flowers whirled around as well to see a man on fire hurrying away from the scene.

Soon, the other Lodgers began talking about it. Virginia and Flowers took it upon themselves to tell Lavender what the sudden interest in her was all about, and Flowers had apologized profusely. Lavender said it was alright, even as people talked and speculated about who she could be in love with.

Even though it didn't go to such extremes as Archer – Lord knows what would have happened if it did – the chatter about Lavender never really died down. Because there was one name that stood above the rest.

 

* * *

 

After Flowers put her things down in her room, she thought about all the things she had heard, and what she would do about them. She paced about the room, thinking and thinking until she got tired of thinking for the first time in her life.

Lavender was keeping such a sad secret from her – it was obvious it was tearing her friend apart from the inside. She didn't know how much it hurt, but if it was anything like her and Archer...she had to talk to her friend straightaway!

Why did Lavender keep it from her? Was her friend embarrassed by such an attraction? She could see why – but Lavender didn't have to bear the weight on her shoulders alone. Flowers knew she could help too!

After mulling over it throughout dinner and seeing Lavender avoid her gaze, Flowers had made up her mind. Lavender wasn't going to talk about it to her anytime soon – she was a little hurt by it, but she understood. It wasn't easy to handle rejection. So Flowers went to talk to the next person that she could – the person that knew what Lavender was going through.

She went right back to the laboratories of the Society, narrowly bumping into Rachel and Jekyll, and heading straight for the chemistry lab, her resolve firm. She hadn't bothered to knock on the door – a first for her, but there was something clouding her vision – and she had to stop herself from slamming her hands down onto the table.

“Griffin!”

The man looked at her, a little surprised. He was in the middle of mixing a large quantity of a formula, judging by the larger chemistry equipment on the table. “Flowers?” he asked. “What's going on?”

“I have to talk to you about something – it's urgent,” she said.

Griffin raised an eyebrow. “I highly doubt it.”

“Don't doubt it.” Flowers pointed a finger at him. “I'm here to talk about Lavender.”

His eyes widened considerably, though they darted back down to his experiment. He then continued to work, though she could see he was noticeably perturbed. “What about Lavender?” he asked.

Flowers frowned. “Don't play games with me, I know exactly what's happened!” She leaned forward. “I know about Lavender's secret, and I know what's been causing her pain these past few days.”

“If you do, then why don't you talk to her about it?” Griffin asked, pointing a test tube holder at her. “Surely that'll fix the whole situation instead of, you know, talking to _me_ about it.”

“What – how is this not going to fix anything?” she cried. “I'll stand by you and Archer being together, but I know Lavender liked you, and you rejected her, and you made her feel like a complete fool!”

Griffin dropped the test tube holder. Flowers was surprised – the man was positively bewildered.

“....P-pardon?” he asked.

“You-you know exactly what I'm talking about!” Flowers said, beginning to pace about the space in front of the table. “Lavender has always liked you, and you just couldn't see it – you must have been surprised when she confessed to you, after you and Archer had established that you like each other. But somehow, you made her feel miserable, and now she won't even talk to me! She's wondering what to do after you rejecting her – and don't give me any smart talk, good sir, because I know what it feels like to be turned down by the person I love. So you had better give me a good reason why my friend should be sadder than she's ever been at the Society, or a bloody apology! And if you're going to give me an apology, then make sure you say it to her face as soon as possible, or so help me, I'll–”

“Good God, woman!” Griffin held up his hands to stop her. “Calm down!”

“Calm down – why should I be calm?” Flowers asked. “My friend is out there hurting, and it's all your fault!”

He stared at her with his mouth open for an uncomfortably long time, before adjusting his glasses. “I'm afraid you're mistaken, Miss Flowers,” he said. “If Lavender had liked me, she would have notified me ages ago.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Oh, as if you don't know how long it takes for someone to own up to their own feelings – surely it must have hurt, not telling Archer how you feel.”

“Fine.” He inhaled, and then exhaled. “But you've got everything wrong. Lavender doesn't love me. If she did, then she would tell you everything about it, am I right?”

“She must have been shy about her crush on you,” Flowers said. “If it's the same way Archer had felt, she must have been afraid of having her secret spilled and being laughed at.”

“I'm telling you, it's not me,” Griffin told her. “Sure, Lavender might be a tad too comfortable about giving me embraces and talking to me about various things. But there's a different reason why she's been avoiding you – I never once heard from her that she liked me, and I definitely didn't break her heart.”

“But who else would she be in love with, if not you?” Flowers asked. “I overheard her talking to Archer about getting rejected by you!”

“You must have taken things in the wrong context.”

“What context – Lavender hasn't told me anything!”

“And I don't know if she's going to,” he went on. “But I can't believe you're as dense as a bleeding brick. Can't you see, she likes–”

Griffin suddenly halted, looking away. On the other hand, Flowers was stunned. All this time, she had thought that she was the closest person to Lavender; all this time, she thought she knew her friend. But Griffin had been trusted with this delicate secret and not her?

Why?

“Who does she like?” Flowers asked, almost pleading. “Griffin, tell me.”

“S'none of your business,” he tried to say coldly.

“Griffin, I'm her friend, I won't do anything with it,” she said, placing her hands on the table and leaning forward. “But I want to know – I want to know who she loves, I want to know who hurt her, I want to know what she isn't telling me–!”

“Flowers.”

The sound of Lavender's voice made Griffin and Flowers look at the door.

There she was, accompanied by Archer, who looked a bit guilty on intruding. “We were...under the impression that Griffin was alone,” Archer explained.

“Flowers, what's going on?” Lavender asked from the doorway.

Flowers turned fully towards Lavender, and came forward. “I'm sorry, Lavender,” she said. “I just...I thought there was something you weren't telling me, and I got worried. I didn't mean to force it out of him – well, maybe I did, but...” She realized how this sounded. “I just want to know what's wrong.”

“I'd like to know, too,” Archer added. “I thought everything was alright, but I can see it's not, and Lavender, you shouldn't hide what you're feeling right now.”

“Give her some space,” Griffin cut in, moving closer to everyone, the (fortunately stable) formula in front of him forgotten. “She'll let it out when she wants to let it out.”

“What, you think we aren't worried about her too?” Archer asked.

“I'm just trying to say that she doesn't need to be pressured into saying anything,” Griffin frowned at him.

“I'm not trying to pressure her, and neither is Flowers,” Archer retorted. “We only want her to tell us these things – who knows how long she's been holding this in!”

“And you're doing a marvelous job of it, I'm sure.”

“What? What're you implying? That we don't care for her?”

“Gentlemen, please,” Flowers tried to say, but she could only watch as Archer and Griffin descended into arguing over what was best for Lavender. Flowers looked at the two of them, unsure of what to do. She had wanted to help Lavender, but she had gotten everything mixed up, and now she didn't know what was the right thing to do.

“Just shut up!”

The two men and Flowers looked at Lavender, and – oh no – she looked as if she were holding tears in.

“That's enough,” she said. “I know you all want me to be happy, but I don't know if I can be. And it's probably not the right thing to do, but I don't want to make people start fighting and pleading over me, and I don't want everyone to worry.” She swallowed, with some difficulty. “I never wanted you to know this way, Flowers...”

Footsteps came closer to the lab. Lavender pulled Archer inside the chemistry lab, and then closed the door behind them. Flowers could hear the various voices of the other Lodgers outside, wondering where the yelling had come from.

Griffin looked from the door to Lavender. “I can't believe it's come to this,” he said.

Lavender shook her head. “No, you did well. And it would have come to this, anyway – if you and Archer can tell each other how you feel, then I might as well tell Flowers what I've been keeping from her for so long.” She tried to laugh. “Of course, I'd imagined that Flowers and I were alone when I told her...”

Archer looked at the door. “...Griffin and I can go if you want.”

“You don't have to,” Flowers said.

“No, you need someone to dismiss the crowd out there,” he said. “We can convince them you two need some time alone.”

Lavender exhaled. “Thank you.”

Griffin walked over to Archer, and grabbed his hand. “So what'll we do so they won't focus their attention on the ladies?” he asked.

Archer shrugged. “I don't know, snog in front of them?”

“Ugh, I hate public displays.” Griffin frowned.

“All the more surprised they'll be.” Archer smirked. Then after he and Griffin spared one last glance at the women, they went out the door and confronted the Lodgers outside.

Then the door closed behind them.

 

* * *

 

Flowers looked at Lavender.

“Lily,” she began, “I'm sorry for forcing this out–”

“I love you,” Lavender said.

It wasn't until a few seconds later that Flowers realized the sharp inhale she had heard was coming from her. Her eyes must have looked as wide as saucers, because Lavender looked away again. The other woman then tried to laugh, putting a hand to her head.

“God, this is so stupid,” she said, “I love you and I never thought I'd have to tell you. I thought if I put on a brave face and carried my cross I'd be able to push through this, like I push through everything. I carried my cross, then I carried the weight of your love for Archer, and I struggled on. I didn't want you to worry, I didn't want you to be burdened by me.”

Lavender then sighed. “But I guess I made it come to that, anyway. I should probably have told you sooner, but I didn't know what would happen. I know you would be kind and tell me that it's okay, but would we...would we still be friends?"

Flowers could only watch as tears started streaming down Lavender's face. She wiped them away unsuccessfully, continuing, “Would we be able to talk together about nothing? Would we be able to show each other our work and be thoroughly impressed?...Would I still be able to see your smile?”

Lavender wept some more, and Flowers held her arm. A part of her chided herself for not knowing, but how could she have known the signs? She thought Lavender was just being a good friend...and to think that she heard her saying that she would give up on loving and being loved! She must have had her heart shattered and trod upon when she heard that!

No wonder, then, that Archer felt sorry for not liking her back. Flowers knew she wanted to make Lavender happy, but how could she if she didn't love her?

“Lily, please,” Flowers said, reaching out for Lavender. “I had no idea you were being so strong for me.” She sighed, and she realized there was a lump in her throat. “I had no idea..that you love me. I wish I'd known.”

Lavender sniffled. “Don't blame yourself, Sophia, there wasn't any way you could have known.”

“I just don't want you to hurt yourself over me.”

“And I don't want you to hurt yourself too!” More tears fell. “I've been an idiot.”

“We've both been idiots,” Flowers said, her eyes watery. She stretched out her arms. “I don't know if the way I'll feel about you will change, or if the way you feel about me will. But I know that you don't have to be strong all the time. If you ever feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, just come to me. I swear, we will stay together – I want to be with you.”

Lavender could no longer contain herself. She threw herself into Flowers's arms, and sobbed loudly.

“I want to be with you too!” she cried.

The two of them held each other, tears flowing freely, the rest of the world completely silent.

 

* * *

 

When Lavender and Flowers came out of the chemistry lab, the other Lodgers, including Archer and Griffin, were gone. Flowers wondered if the two men had really distracted their colleagues by exchanging saliva, but she felt it was better not to ask. At least everyone was gone, and they couldn't see the two ladies' faces that were red and tear-streaked after crying for a long time.

Flowers listened to the sound of Lavender wiping her nose as they walked down the hallway. Most of the Lodgers had retired to their rooms for the night, and the path to Flowers's room was therefore devoid of people. It was a good thing for this moment – Flowers didn't feel like talking with anyone beside Lavender for now.

“...So I guess I have to wait for my feelings for you to go away now,” Lavender said.

Flowers looked to her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I've fallen for you, but I don't have a chance even if you haven't given up on love,” Lavender explained. “You like men.”

Flowers looked at Lavender, before sighing. “Well, since you're in the same situation and nobody's around, I think this secret of mine will be in good hands.”

“Hm?” Lavender looked to her friend, her curiosity piqued.

“Once when I was much younger, I was head over heels in love with one of my classmates,” Flowers said. “I thought at first it was just me being a good friend, but then I told my mother about it without telling her it was a girl. She said I was in love. I used to be scandalized by it up until recently – I didn't think such a thing was normal.”

“Well, that's the thing about the Society of Arcane Sciences,” Lavender commented. “It changes your perception of normal.”

Flowers smiled softly. “That was what I meant when I said my feelings towards you might change. But I still have lingering feelings for Archer, and I have to wait for it to pass. I don't think you'll wait long enough for me. In that case, I guess I really am hopeless.”

“Don't say that, we don't know,” Lavender said. “What if I do end up waiting for you?”

“You have your whole life ahead of you; you're still young,” Flowers said. “It would be good for you to move on instead of wasting your life waiting for me.”

Lavender paused a little, perhaps to gather her thoughts, before responding.

“Well, Sophia, the Society also changes your opinion on what's good.” She looked at her lovingly. “Thanks to this place, I've decided what's good for me.”

Flowers smiled a little wider. “Oh, Lavender."

The two of them reached Flowers's room, and they stopped in front of it, pausing to look at each other.

“So...what do we do now?” Lavender asked.

Flowers tapped a finger to her chin, as if she were thinking. “We wake up, breakfast, and work on our projects for the Exhibition. And we talk.” She put her hand down. “Nothing really appears to have changed.”

“Really? Because it feels like everything is different, somehow,” Lavender said.

“It does, but at the same time...everything's the same.” Flowers said. “Maybe it's just that I know you love me.”

Lavender stared at her a long time, and a smile broke on her face.

“What?” Flowers asked, beginning to laugh herself.

“Nothing, it's nothing!”

“The last time you said that, you had built a wall to block your emotions; just let it out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Lavender took a deep breath.

“I want to kiss you.”

“Oh – that's-that's fine,” Flowers said. “You can kiss me if you want to.”

“Honest?”

“Honest.”

Lavender hesitated a little, before moving forward swiftly and pressing her lips against Flowers's.

The kiss felt nothing like the way Flowers had felt when she kissed Archer. It was definitely different – Lavender was pushing against her when Archer hadn't, and her lips were definitely softer. There was the faint taste of lipstick; not to mention Lavender's mouth didn't smell like Archer's.

But the weight on her chest didn't grow heavier when the other woman kissed her – in fact, it felt lighter.

Lavender pulled away, and touched a hand to her lips, before giggling a little.

“You have me as giddy as a schoolgirl,” she said. “If you want, you can return it to me. But only if and when you're ready.” Lavender reached down and clasped her hands. “I don't want to force you to fall in love with me.”

“You won't,” Flowers said. “Let's just see where life takes us.”

Lavender nodded. “Let's see.”

Then she let her hands go, and bade her good night. And Flowers went into her room, her mind less cluttered than it had been that afternoon.

She wasn't doing this because she felt sorry for Lavender, that much she knew.

She then realized that she had let Lavender kiss her...because she didn't think she was to give up on love yet. Maybe she had to give it another shot.

As for whether she would grow to love Lavender or not, she wasn't sure.

The thought of a future with her in it was a happy one, though.

 


End file.
